The Love of My Life

I promised all of my followers that I’d keep them up to date on my new-found love relationship. This is that. I got to meet, in person, and spend time with the woman who I met online and have fallen head over heels for, this week. She was all I had hoped for and maybe a little more. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to say goodbye to her. My heart breaks now even writing about it.

Her name is Stephanie. She is the most thoughtful, beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, kind, wonderful woman who I’ve ever met in my life. She knows that I absolutely love music. So what did she do? She took me to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, of course. She listens to what I say. I say a lot, y’all. That takes some effort. But she pays attention. I’m not saying that in all my past relationships that no one ever paid attention. I’m just saying that she really pays attention. She actually wants to make me happy. I don’t think she realizes that she does make me very happy. It’s been a long time since I couldn’t keep my hands off someone. I don’t think I’ve ever had this problem, so much though, as I do with her. The song by Selena Gomez, “Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself” fits me perfectly, right now. Steph doesn’t like that song, by the way. I told her that she may like it after I was gone back home. I don’t know if she has actually changed her mind about it yet though. No, it’s not just about the physical. Though I’m not lacking any of that for her. It’s something more. Something I’ve never quite experienced before. It’s the total package. It’s all of her and everything about her. The way she makes me laugh. The way she can turn me on with just a certain look, touch, or word. The way she smiles at me. The way she laughs. Her eyes are the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re hazel but sometimes they’re blue. Sometimes they’re gray. Sometimes they’re green. There is this little spot closer to the pupil that’s brown, always no matter what color the rest of them are. They’re just perfect and I see the way they look at me, with love. Her dark hair and the way it smells and feels against my face. The cute little grin she gives me when I say certain things to her. The way she kisses me. Oh My God! The way she kisses me! The way she holds my hand. God, I know I could probably go on forever here. I’ll stop and spare you all the rest. I think you get the point that I’m deeply in love with her and that she’s hot as hell!

As I was saying we spent a little more than the weekend together. I can’t wait to see her again. I started missing her before we ever even said goodbye. It was truly the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to do. I know that when we are apart, even for a second, I can hardly stand it. I may be totally off here and I may read this years from now and wonder what in the hell I was thinking. But somehow, I don’t think that will happen. I know I said it before but we have something unique and different than anyone else I’ve ever been with. It’s like she’s my missing piece. The piece that fits just right in the whole that my heart has been missing all my life. She’s my girl. If she were a drug I’d be addicted. I am addicted already, actually.

Neither of us are stupid. We know what people say. We know people somehow have trouble believing that we will ever make it. We know people have judgements about meeting people online and long distance relationships and such. We know that any relationship is going to have its ups and downs. We know but we still choose to be with one another. We both have issues now with people, things, situations. There is no perfect relationship. The relationships that last take an effort on both persons parts. We know this. We are still willing to give this thing a shot.

At this moment in time I can tell you that Stephanie makes me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I can honestly say that with no qualms whatsoever. I hope that I do the same for her. Nothing would make me happier than to spend my life making her happy. I can’t express in words the way I feel about her. I try mind you. It’s just never sufficient enough. I asked her permission to post our picture on here but she’s at work and can’t answer my every question right now. So, we will see. Maybe there will be a picture later but we’re both kind of camera-shy.

Our trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was special and a day I’ll never forget. But I think the best moment was sitting on a bench. Looking out over the water. Holding her hand. Seeing a wedding party taking pictures at the waterfront and secretly wishing that one day that’d be us. I was anyway. I know we have a long way to go and a lot of miles and situations between us. I know this all to well. I can only love her with all I have and hope that one day she will be mine and I’ll be hers and we will live happily ever after. The End.

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The Unfortunate End

The Unfortunate End

A Poem by Karen Lyles

I wish it would’ve ended differently for you.
I struggle with the thoughts that you knew.
I struggle with the things that you held in your view.
I wish this life would’ve not treated you so cruel.
They’re only wishes that will never come true.
Somehow I wish I could’ve made them come true for you.
This is now unfortunately part of my truth.
Still I wish it would’ve ended differently for you.
I will love and miss you forever. I know this is true.
Never did I imagine this end for you and somehow I imagine that you didn’t too.
I have hate in my heart for what He did to you.
God how could He have done this thing to you?
The years and the visions you held so true.
How could things have ended so badly for you?
All your devotion and love given to; the one who could’ve changed the ending for you.
I wish it would’ve ended differently for you.
But now I know my wish will never come true.
Because it has already ended badly for you.
And there is nothing that I can do.

My Hero

My Hero

A Poem by Karen Lyles

The waters were murky as I stood watching the waves lap at my feet.
I was afraid as my heart pounded against my chest.
The wind scorched my skin from sheer cold.
I couldn’t do it.
I could not make myself leave the sand of the shore.
I thought of the pain from being alone.
I thought of the pain from heartbreak.
I thought of the tenderness that I longed to share with another woman.
I took a step.
The water was cold against my bare toes.
I wanted to pull back.
I wanted to run.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t go forward but I couldn’t go back either.
Why was I so afraid?
I took a deep breath and stepped forward again.
The cold of the water over took my feet.
I shivered.
I looked out over the waters.
There was nothing but the water and the sky.
It was beautiful.
Maybe this won’t be such an awful way to die?
Why can’t I be what everyone expects me to be?
Why have I let everyone down?
Once again, I move toward the deep.
The waters are taking over my knees now.
I’m cold to the core of my soul.
There was no need.
No one was ever going to complete me.
I was a lost soul.
A lost soul-searching for something that would make me feel whole.
I stepped in the waters further.
My thighs became engulfed with the cold. Cold, the way I felt already.
Cold throughout my mind, body and soul. Nothing would ever warm me again.
I stepped again.
The wetness surrounded my waist.
The waves crashed into my chest.
This was good.
Now my body was as numb as I was inside.
I went to step another step.
I stop.
I hear someone.
She’s calling from somewhere but I can’t tell where from.
I go to step.
I stop.
I hear her voice more clearly now.
She’s calling me.
I wanted to die.
I wanted to give up.
But now.
Where was she?
Was I hallucinating?
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back into the wind.
She was there.
She was there behind the lids of my eyes. She was in my mind.
I know her.
Somehow, I know her.
I feel her pain.
It’s a lot like mine.
I sink into her eyes.
Her voice is comforting but arousing my body at the same time.
I shook my head trying to get her out.
She didn’t leave.
She embraced me.
I felt warm even as my body was physically engulfed by the cold.
I didn’t want to open my eyes because I was afraid she’d be gone forever if I did.
I was afraid to speak.
I was afraid to breathe.
As her embrace tightened, I surrendered. As her lips took mine, I shivered but this time not from the cold.
As I looked into her eyes, I loved her.
The hot tears running down my cheeks burned like fire.
I was burning throughout my body.
I knew her and didn’t even know her name. I knew her however.
Nothing and no one had ever made me feel this alive.
I was alive.
She saved me that day.
The day she invaded my heart.
She saved me.
I don’t know how she knew.
I don’t know why she cared but she saved me.
Maybe she’ll never know that I was drowning that day.
The day she came into my life.
Maybe she’ll never know that she is my hero.
I know, that day she changed my life.
That day she completed my soul.
That day she became the only one I’d ever really loved.
That day she mended all my brokenness and made me whole.
I know, that I will never let her go.

It’s For Real

I don’t even know where to begin this blog. You all probably read my blog when I was complaining about dating sites, see There’s Free Milk Everywhere, Y’all! So, that post kind of makes me look like I was all judgemental about the whole thing, and I was, I admit. I have to begin to tell this story though because I hope it never ends.

You see, people wouldn’t guess this about me but, I’m a hopeless romantic. Yes, it’s true. I believe in ‘Happily Ever After’. I mean, why not, right? Better than not believing. Anyway, I come off as someone who could really give a fuck less about love. I guess I’m a closeted romantic? Maybe? I have always been the type that if you hurt me I could turn off my feelings as fast as they came on. I just never really felt any kind of instant connection with anyone. My first two and well, only two, serious relationships were a very slow, getting to know you process. Because, I’m just an old-fashioned southern girl who likes to be wooed. Don’t get me wrong though. I always thought it was possible to have that. I believe in soul mates and twin flames and love at first sight and all that jazz. I guess, I just hoped it would happen to me but never really expected it to happen to me.

As you all know. I was on a couple of dating sites. It wasn’t a very good experience. Either no one ever talked to you or you winked at someone and they winked at you and it was a big fucking joke! I had these, little girls(that qualifies as young enough to be my daughter)winking at me and chatting crap like, “What’s up?”. Give me a break! I’m like, old! Please, I don’t want to be arrested and labeled as a ‘sexual predator’. That would fucking ruin my career, right there! But I wasn’t interested in the first place. So it didn’t matter. I’m sure a lot of you have used these dating apps and you know that you flip through thousands of pictures. Most of them having ‘duck bill’ lips and throwing deuces. Don’t get me started on that. I mean, smile or look normal. Why you gotta do your lips like that? It’s not attractive, if that’s what you’re going for? Anyway, yeah, flip, flip, flip. Me: uh no, uh no, too young, too skinny, ah she’s cute but she smokes, uh no, no, hell no, maybe? Oh, she likes skinny girls? Well, I’m out, next. You see this wasn’t going well for me?

To my title, it’s for real, y’all! One night I was flipping through in my usual non interested way when, wait go back. Hmm? Well, she’s cute. Probably something wrong with her? Let’s read the profile. She probably smokes or is looking for Mrs. Athletic body? Ok, uh huh, uh huh, oh she doesn’t smoke, drinks socially, so do I sometimes too much socially but socially. Maybe this could work? She’s cute enough. She wears glasses, which is totally hot. She probably won’t like me? I doubt she will but hey, let’s give it a shot. That was my thinking process. Well, holy shit, she actually liked me. And she’s not young enough to be my daughter. She’s younger than me but not, illegally so. We started chatting back and forth and hit it off. I was actually in complete shock. Then I got brave and gave her my number. That was a huge step for me because I don’t trust anyone. But for some strange reason, I trusted her.

I can’t say that we have everything in common. Because we don’t. I’m from the South and she’s a Yankee. That’s what we call you Northerners, by the way. We have a lot in common. I am a big ‘ol dyke, y’all. I’m not very feminine but I’m not overly masculine. I consider myself slightly left of center. Butch and feminine, a little of both, but more Butch. I am usually attracted to very feminine women. I’m not saying this girl isn’t feminine at all, but very feminine? No. She’s tough and pretty badass. She’s got piercings and tattoos. She had Laser eye surgery done. There went the glasses. I might have to buy her some fake ones just for me? But y’all she’s hot! Glasses or not. She doesn’t like Prince. Who doesn’t like Prince? I fucking love Prince! That could have been a total deal breaker! But then she had guts enough to tell me so, wasn’t that really a good thing? She overlooks a lot of my faults. Not that I have any. I’ve got plenty! I couldn’t figure out what it was about her that drew me like a magnet. It’s not all about looks or a hot body to me. Not saying she’s not hot but it’s a brain thing with me. You got to have a brain! Dumbness is a complete turnoff. Then she told me the same thing. I know it wasn’t that she was just saying it because it was what I wanted to hear. Because that’s not her speed. I mean, she told me she didn’t like Prince! Why would she say anything just because, now? We both have talked about how scared we were. How neither of us are normally like this. How people will have their opinions about our relationship. But, we’re cool with that. It’s just something neither of us can explain. It just is there between us. Something special. A drawing. Magnets. Maybe I’m going to sound like a dating site commercial here but we just clicked.

She probably thought I talked too much? Which I do sometimes. She was shy and that was wonderfully cute. She was modest and that’s fantastic. We talked and talked. She didn’t agree with everything I said so that let me know she had her own mind. That was also good. I don’t want a ‘yes, dear.’ relationship. I want somebody who doesn’t mind listening to my opinions but doesn’t mind giving me theirs. She fit the bill. So, she’s the total package. Is that even possible? Well, it is. It’s for real, y’all. She is the most caring, loving, giving, sexy, smart, tough, badass, sweet woman I think I’ve ever met? She makes me smile. Like a fool, y’all! Like a complete fool! I really honestly believe that I’ve never fallen so hard, so fast? Well, I know I haven’t. And yes I know you’re thinking there has to be something wrong with her. She works, y’all! And I haven’t found anything, yet. If I do though, I think it can be worked around. I have not been in a relationship in 11 years. That’s a long time. I was afraid that, just like in the past, that something always took precedence over me. And I would be hurt, again. Both of my exes left me because they ‘weren’t right with God’. I tried that road many times. But it’s not who I really am. I’ve always known that I liked women. Since I was 4 years old. I really don’t think anything will change me now. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Don’t I deserve to be loved, too? Don’t we all deserve to be loved? I think we do.

No one has ever changed my opinion or how I felt about certain things. I am strongly opinionated and bull-headed. I know, I am outspoken and can be really honest to a fault. This woman has made me change my mind about some things I felt really strongly about. Everyone who reads my blog or is a friend of mine knows how I feel about PDA, public displays of affection. Yeah, never really been a fan. I know that no one has ever changed my mind about this, ever! But she has. Not because we’ve done it, yet but because for the first time in my life. I want to do it! I can’t believe I said that. I know, you’re thinking I’ve got it bad. I do.

I’m off the dating sites. All two of them I was on. I deleted my account and am not on the market anymore. Only time will tell but I think I may have found the one. We are constantly texting or talking. I can’t think about anything but her. We made it exclusive. We are only dating one another. I think that I am more happy now than I’ve ever been in my 44 years. Wish us luck, y’all! But I think we aren’t really going to need it. Because we have something more powerful than luck on our side. We have love. And that Beatles song can’t be wrong, can it? Love is truly all you need.

 

Why You Got To Be A Bitch?

Yes, I’m going there. I’m sure normal people think I’m a bitch. Let me tell you I restrain the bitch inside me. Like this morning. I really almost had to tie her up and stuff her in a padlocked trunk. For real, y’all. I’m not sure if any of my followers are nurses but if you are then you will be like, “Yes. I know what you’re talking about, girl.”. Now, as for the rest of you, you’re probably going to be like, “What the hell is this bitch bitching about?”. Guess we’ll see.

So, as nurses you have to put up with shit from everybody. I am not exaggerating. You put up with shit from co-workers, charge nurses, doctors, administration, the government, social workers,pharmacy, respiratory therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, radiology, lab, families of patients and the patients themselves. Like I said, everybody. We get picked on, spit on, hit on, cussed, yelled at, pissed on, shit on(in more ways than one), puked on, bled on, wrote up, fired, and talked to like we are 5 years old. I’m sure there is more, but I can’t think of it now, because I just worked a 12 hour shift without a break. You would think, that all of that would gain you some sort of respect. It doesn’t.

We also have so many rules. Rules are good. Especially when you’ve got people’s lives in your hands. I understand that and respect my boundaries. I may not be the best nurse or even the most compassionate nurse, but I believe I’m a good nurse. I would never do anything to intentionally harm a patient, or anybody else as far as that goes. Yes, I can be a bit of a smart ass. I admit fully to this. It’s not a secret to anyone. I am however working in the best interest of my patients. I am their advocate. And I deserve respect. I will not be belittled by some bitch that has let her title go to her head. Well, maybe I let that happen because I need a fucking job. Maybe we all let things happen because we need a fucking job.

This morning I was so offended by this person, I don’t even know who the hell she was. You see, I float. Not just in water do I float but in my job. I go to all different kinds of floors. I meet all kinds of people. I like doing this because I don’t have to get into the drama that comes with “getting to know” people. I’m not into gossip and I don’t want to know personal things about people. I’m just fine with being oblivious to who they really are. When I hear personal things about people, and I then have to talk to them. Let’s just say it’s bad. If you tell me that this person had sex with the doctor in the bathroom on B hall. Well, that’s where my mind will go, as I’m trying to act normal, in general conversation with this person. They got a bad case of athletes foot? Yeah, well from then on that person is just “Athletics foot” from then on, to me. This is why I can’t listen to gossip. I want to stop my ears up and say “La, la, la, la, I can’t hear you, la, la, la, la!”. Yes, I’m totally childish like that. Maybe this is why I get treated as such?

Let’s get to the point. Not all floors in the hospitals have a “huddle” in the mornings and evenings before the shift starts, but a lot of them do. I hate this and think it’s a complete waste of time. You see, the people who come up with this useless shit are people who don’t have to stay on schedule. After the “huddle” they don’t have to go bust ass to get patients their meds on time. They are going to go sit on their ass and make up some more fucking rules for us “workers” to follow. I honestly think they try to make our jobs as miserable as possible. I actually worked at a hospital that you weren’t allowed to sit down all day. Except for your 30 minute break. Tell me, someone sitting in their office didn’t come up with that shit? Yeah, well, you stand up for 12 hours and then tell me to do it, fucker. I know, I know, get to the point. So, in this “huddle” which is totally not following HIPPA, by the way. We listen to the charge nurse tell us, which rooms have what procedures to have done today, who is a DNR, that means they don’t want to be recessed if they die, who has Foley catheters, if anyone is going to surgery, etc., bullshit, etc.. It’s not like we aren’t about to give the oncoming nurse a total detailed report on the patients they’re getting from us. Also, HIPPA is the privacy act to protect our patients privacy. Telling room numbers, out loud, and what procedures they are having done, is a total violation of this act. Any passerby could hear that room 301 is going for a hysterectomy and she has a catheter. I mean, really, to be so anal about the rules, you sure are breaking them. Side note here. Every time I hear the word “huddle” I want to say “hut, hut!”, like Peyton Manning. Anyway, we were in our huddle this morning and had listened to all the shit we could possibly handle when, me and the nurse beside me started to speak. Then, this fucking bitch reminded us, not politely, that the huddle was not over and that we needed to stop talking and pay attention. I wanted to punch her in the fucking throat. No lie. She was such a bitch about it. She spoke to both of us like we were children. I’ve never, well, maybe not never, but close, I’ve never quite been so offended. Not only the fact that she was a complete ass about the whole thing but the fact that she did it in front of everybody else. If you want to call me out on something, at least don’t embarrass me in front of all my co-workers. I could tell this really upset the other nurse; who works on that floor all the time. Hell, it embarrassed me and I don’t work there all the time. We, obviously, thought the huddle was over. We were so wrong! And she let us know, how wrong we were. I don’t know if this woman was the director, nurse manager or educator for this floor. I do know, however, that she was a pretentious bitch. The nurse that I got caught talking with told me that, that was the way they(management) treated them all the time. I can’t believe that anyone would rule by intimidation and fear. What are we nurses or children? You shouldn’t even really talk to or treat children that way. I mean, come on. We work our asses off to take care of the patients and get all we have to get done, done. Then you want to be a bitch to us? What the hell? Show some fucking respect, why don’t you? We hold our urine all night and get bladder infections because of it, because we put our patients needs above our own. We get our patients their third ginger ale when we are dehydrated because we haven’t had a chance to drink anything, all night. We medicate people because they are in pain and work through pain ourselves. We force ourselves to come to work sick because we don’t want our co-workers to work short. We sacrifice our holidays with our families to take care of yours. And then this is the appreciation we get in return. Tell me something isn’t wrong with that picture?

I can tell you honestly that if I didn’t have a mortgage, mouths to feed(mine and my dogs and lizard), a car payment, needing a new roof on my house and wanting a new jeep, that I would have called that bitch out right there, in front of everyone. I would have shown her the same kind of respect that she showed me and my co-worker. Why you got to be a bitch? We’re all on the same team, last I checked. I have worked for some really good supervisors in my lifetime and I know what it’s like to be one, also. I can tell you now, that the best leaders are the ones who lead by example. The ones who can do your job and who have done your job. Those are the ones you look up to. Those are the ones you respect. Those are the ones you want to do a good job for. But the ones like that bitch this morning are only good at telling people what to do. They can’t do your job but they sure don’t mind telling you how to do it.

I know you all are probably thinking that I’m being overly sensitive about all this, but I’m not. I’m tired of being treated like a child. I’m tired of being treated with no respect. I’m tired of people who can’t do my job, telling me how to do my job. Lay off bitches! Unless you want to find out what I “really do” and have to do it because we all walk out on you. This other deviant nurse that was, God forbid, talking during the huddle. She told me that they never have enough help because they couldn’t keep help. I wonder why?

Why’d I go here? Well, I’m pissed off, for one thing. I’m tired for another. I’m disgusted with it all. That’s some of it, yes. The main thing, however, is that my own mother doesn’t speak to me like that and I’ll be damned if anyone else is going to. This is not going to be the end of this story. I’m not going to let this go. I think, she owes us an apology and I think she ought to have to apologize the same way she disrespected us. In front of everybody.

My precious grandma use to say to “treat people the way you want to be treated”. I guess this woman wants everyone to treat her with contempt and disrespect. I can do that. There is a nice way to say things and there is a wrong way. She chose the latter. I am so upset about this morning that I’m probably going to either tell her straight to her face, in private. Because I feel like that is the way to handle people. Not blaring out orders at you, in front of a group of your peers. Or I’m going over her head and maybe someone with more power than her will belittle and degrade her?

For those of you in healthcare, I know that you already feel my pain. For those of you who don’t, think about it. Do nurses deserve to be treated this way? Does anybody deserve to be treated this way? How would this make you feel? What would you do? Would you forgive and forget? Or would you give that bitch a piece of your mind? Would you go over her head and let administration deal with her? I’m all ears and promise not to talk before you’re done. Unless, that fact is mistakenly overlooked. Just don’t be a bitch about it, okay.

I’ve Been Nominated for The Liebster Award, Y’all!

I am pretty speechless, no not really. I’m only speechless in a crowd of strangers. So, my new wonderful blogging friend Half a 1000 Miles nominated me for the Liebster Award. I was completely shocked. Especially since I am brand spanking new at this blogging thing. I’m actually surprised anyone reads my blog at all. I found her on The Bloggesses website I was  reading through the comments section and I read her comment and thought “She sounds fricking hilarious.” and so it began. I started following her blog and knew that my assumptions were true. We were both Southerners and both sarcastic, this was going to work. Then she started following me and so our fairy tail blogging relationship began. Thank you Half a 1000 Miles! Love you, mean it!

So, as part of this nomination you have to:

  1. Thank the nominator and link back to them.
  2. Answer the questions they provided.
  3. List 11 random facts about yourself.
  4. Nominate 5-11 blogs of your choosing that you think deserve recognition.
  5. List 11 questions to ask your nominees.image

Number one is taken care of so let’s get to those questions from Halfa, shall we…

  1. Q: How did you arrive at the name for your blog? A: I used my Twitter handle which I also got from my sisters nickname for me growing up, Kayray.
  2. Q: If all forms of the name had already been taken, what was your second choice? A: Well, actually this was my second choice because I wanted to call my blog ‘Smart Ass Gypsy Nurse’, but that was taken. No, I don’t know if it was taken, but I tried several other ones and they were all taken. Maybe I should’ve tried that one? It fits.
  3. Q: If one day your blog took off, and merely by mentioning and recommending someone else’s blog, they too could become famous, what blogs would you “bring up the elevator” with you? (I have already thought about this and know my answers, ha). A: Hmmm? Well, definitely Half a 1000 Miles because she is so damn funny and I’ll do links to these later but Life Vivified, Crayongirllinz, Caledon Acres, The Emily Capps, My Dang Blog. There’s more to be listed later.
  4. Q: What do you wish your non-bloggy friends knew about blogging? A: I don’t have a lot of friends but the ones I do have could care less. I think I’d want them to know how important it is to people such as myself. It’s our way of getting our voices heard. Normally, in society, introverts are completely overlooked. But in the bloggesphere we are kings and queens!(insert evil, I’m going to take over the world, laugh here.)
  5. Q: What is your favorite TV show of all time? A: Oh.My.God. I feel like such a celebrity now. I’m being interviewed. Ok, ok, come up with something clever. No use. There’s only one answer, ok, don’t laugh. Quantum Leap. I use to have them all recorded on VHS and I’ve watched them all more than once and, ok, stop laughing, I can hear you! I can’t watch NCIS New Orleans because Dr. Sam Beckett is on there and he’s playing the wrong part. I know, I’m sad, you don’t have to say it so loud. Gosh.
  6. Q: What is your own personal favorite of your own blog posts, and why? A: I don’t know. These questions are too hard. I guess, if I had to pick, it’d be So, Why did you want to be a Nurse? Because in it people can see where I came from and the struggles it took me to get where I am today. That and it’s funny as shit. Ok, so shits not really funny unless you’re, ‘Half a 1000 Miles’? And then it’s funny. I love her poo stories.
  7. Q: Rate these in order of what you don’t have enough of right now: Sleep, Peace, Money, Time, Love. A: That’s a deep question coming from a lady with poo stories but okay. Money, Peace, Love, Time, Sleep.
  8. Q: What was the hardest part about your first year of blogging? A: Can’t answer that because I haven’t been blogging for a year but I’m finding it hard to find followers and I guess I don’t know how to exactly do that.
  9. Q: Where did you spend most of your life, and where are you now? A: I’ve spent most of my life in Salisbury, NC and as the little girl in Poltergeist would say “I’m still Heee-re.” Well, actually she didn’t say “I’m” she said “They’re” but you get the point. I do travel for work but right now I’m able to sleep in my own bed at night, for a change. The picture on my main page is actually a picture of part of my beautiful city after the snow. I do love Salisbury, NC. The home of Cheerwine and Food Lion.
  10. Q: What is a “big” blog that you enjoy? A: No secret that I love The Bloggess and am part of her tribe but Half a 1000 Miles, I don’t know if you consider yourself a ‘big’ blog but she’s my #2 girl. You like that pun right there, didn’t you? My poo story telling friend.
  11. Q: I am all about bloggers helping other bloggers. Help us help you. If someone wanted to show your blog some love, what would be your preferred method — a Facebook share? Sharing on Twitter? Subscribing to your blog? Commenting on your blog? Submitting your posts to Stumbleupon? Or something else? A: Ok, I guess subscribe to my blog because that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and comment because I love to hear your thoughts and share on Twitter because it’s the only social media outlet that I use.

Oh, no, another list. Are y’all sensing a theme here? Or is it just me? Okay, 11 random facts about myself.

  1. I don’t like most people. I know, I’m a nurse and it’s kind of a job requirement that you like people, but I don’t.
  2. I have battled depression my whole life.
  3. I like animals more than I like most people.
  4. I am an introvert even though my close friends would tell you this is a lie. They only think this because I talk their ears off.
  5. I was goth in high school before there was such a label to put on it. I was the original.
  6. I think ‘common sense’ should be a job requirement for any job. Even greeting people at that store I don’t shop at.
  7. I use to drive a short bus. No, I’m not kidding.
  8. I have a secret fantasy of trying out for ‘The Voice’ but I’m scared shitless to do it.
  9. I’ve always been different. I’ve never been afraid to experiment with my hair, clothes or any other facet of my appearance.
  10. I share a birthday with Prince, Iggy Azalea and Tom Jones. Yes, just like all of them, I’m a sexy beast that can sing, dance and rap, too. Though no one would pay to see me do it, probably.
  11.  I still crank up my radio and sing to the top of my lungs when I’m driving down the highway or any road, as far as that goes.

Ok, now my turn to nominate some blogs.

  1. Murphys Law Blog– I know you are probably thinking that you know what this blog is about, but you’d be wrong. This is just a simple blog about family life. Their last name just happens to be Murphy. One of those blogs that make you say “Awww”. I subscribe to this blog and it’s a welcome change some days. It restores my faith in humanity(not completely. I’m not that big of a fool) but it’s sweet.
  2. Crayon Girl Linz– this is one of those blogs that I can read and know that we are kindred spirits. Very funny, very sarcastic and very witty. If you like my blog at all then you’ll like Lindsay and her blog.
  3. Halfa 1000 Miles– you know I could not leave you out. This is the funniest woman since sliced bread. She is open about the fact that she is PG-13 rated but let me tell you, it’s worth it. I have read her blogs and laughed so hard that I’ve cried. There is no other like her. She is truly one of a kind, in a good way. Her poo and bread stories are absolutely hilarious! Oh, that sounded bad, not poo on bread or anything, just poo and then in a separate story bread. Oh well, just read it. P.S. You don’t have to answer my questions and all that jazz. I just couldn’t leave you out.
  4. Bewildered Creatures-this blog is more of a book review blog but I like books so… It’s on here. Hey, it’s my list isn’t it? That’s what I thought.
  5. Musings of a Momologist-this is a mommy prospective on A-Z. Terminally sick child, crying moments, and knowing no matter what you’re going through it’s probably not as bad as you thought. I’m not a mom but I am a dog mom, sorta counts, right? Anyway, it’s a good blog.
  6. Come Hell or High Water-great title don’t you think? I should’ve picked that one. (Raises hand) Can I change my previous answer about what I’d call my blog if my name would’ve been taken? It says on the title page ‘Life can happen to you or you can happen to life’. This is a very different prospective on just about everything. It drips with sarcasm. It’s wonderful.
  7. Fifty Four and a Half-funny lady but with serious bits thrown in just for good measure. Header reads ‘more than just another wise ass’ I think that probably sums it up pretty well? Check her out.
  8. Kelley and Geoff– besides Jeff spells his name wrong, this is a good blog. Husband and wife, sarcastic and smart and a good combination.
  9. Sasha Self Love– No, it’s not a porn site. Even though I bet one would buy that title from her. No, this is a self help positive thinking kind of thingy. I know, I don’t know how it made my list either, because that’s the opposite of what I am. Hey, it’s good to switch it up sometimes. We can’t all be sarcastic, self-loathing, bitches now can we? Give it a shot, no, not through your temple. See, you need this blog.
  10. Life Vivified– this title probably only works for people named Vivienne? But I love this blog and her sense of humor. She writes about cats, life, stuff. Very funny lady. I don’t know how to explain her blog so you’ll just have to check it out yourself. Trust me, you’ll laugh more than once.
  11. Caledon Acres– this is a blog about moving to a homestead and chickens and dogs and livestock. Interesting stuff and a break from all of us bitches. This lady is nice. Like I said, for a change of pace, read her blog.

Finally, we reach the end. Now 11 questions for my nominees. Don’t be scared. Okay, be a little scared. Here goes.

  1. What or who inspired you to write a blog?
  2. How long have you been blogging?
  3. What do you do, or did you do in your life as a job?
  4. How did you come up with the name of your blog?
  5. What are your hobbies?
  6. What is your favorite song ever, and why?
  7. Which do you prefer dogs or cats?
  8. Where are you originally from and where do you live now?
  9. If you had only 3 wishes what would you wish for?
  10. What is your addiction?(Mines Cheerwine, by the way. No, it’s not alcoholic. It’s a soft drink. It’s a Salisbury thing, you wouldn’t understand.)
  11. Who is your favorite blogger and why?

I’m done! OMG! That felt too much like homework. But if it gets some of my fellow bloggers recognized then it was worth it. Look forward to reading your post. Thanks again to Halfa1000miles for the nomination. I am truly honored and humbled to think that other people read my blog. I’m especially humbled by the fact that some of you care enough to follow me. Thank you all, for the love.

There’s Free Milk Everywhere, Y’all!

My original title for the blog was going to be ‘Where has modesty gone?’. But I think this one was more catchy. So here goes nothing.

Sorry folks but I have got to rant. I have recently been checking out dating sites. Let me tell you it has not been a good experience. I don’t know if I’m just too old or just have too much self-respect but….OH MY GOD! I was not expecting what I’ve found. I guess it’s no surprise to people who frequent these sites. Maybe they like it? I don’t. I mean, leave something for the imagination people. Don’t ask me to send you nude photos of myself because it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to see yours and I’m definitely not showing you mine. What has happened to modesty? Was it thrown out the window with the Kardashians? I can’t stand this. It is absolutely unbelievable to me that society thinks this is okay.

I’ve always been a modest person. I don’t even like to take my clothes off at the doctor’s office. I’ve never been comfortable in a bathing suit, even when I was skinny. I’ve never felt comfortable being naked in front of somebody unless we were intimate together. I hated P.E. in school simply because you had to dress and undress in front of people and God forbid take a shower with other people. This was traumatic for me. Maybe that’s why I find all this over the top, in your face exposure so disgusting? There’s something to be said for leaving a little mystery.

This epidemic is not just a generation thing or even a gender thing, it’s a society thing. People have no self-respect at all anymore. They think this type of behavior is fine. Some people may read this and say that I’m just an old fogey. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just have respect for myself and others. I don’t want to subject people to images of my vagina, breast, butt, or any other part of my anatomy that shouldn’t be displayed publicly. My face is good enough. If you don’t like my face then you don’t need to see anymore of me. I know in these days of Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram and the like, that it might be hard not to give into peer pressure and post nude pictures of yourself. Though, this would never be a problem for me personally, but maybe it’s like smoking was back in my day? Maybe this is how it is with the younger generation? But they are definitely not the only ones. Maybe instead of trying to fit in by smoking or doing drugs, they feel the pressure to expose themselves in pictures online? I don’t know.

With all of this being said, I don’t know if I’m ready to start dating. I certainly am not ready for kissing on the first date. I’m not ready to fall into bed with anyone on the first date. I don’t even like holding hands in public. I have never been one for public displays of affection. I am not promiscuous and never have been. It’s not going to start now. Also, as a nurse I’m scared that everybody has a STD. Then these dating sites don’t help my nursing mind to disprove this fear. I feel so much older than my forty-something mind right now.

Are there any modest, humble, discreet, mysterious people left in this world? Really, are there? I hope, beyond hope that there are. Am I the only person who feels this way? Am I the only one who feels like they need to wash their eyes after flipping through these photos? Am I the only person in this world who doesn’t want to be bombarded with these images? Maybe I’m too cerebral? Maybe I’m too much of a thinker? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned? Maybe I still believe in the art of seduction and romance? Maybe I’m just being too unrealistic? Gone are the days of flowers, a box of chocolates, wine, dine, charm, opening doors, pulling out chairs, respect. Like my grandmother use to say “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?” There’s free milk everywhere, y’all! Don’t get me wrong I can appreciate the beauty of the human form but only after we are in a relationship and I want to see you naked.

I refuse to allow these things to change me, however. I will not believe that there are not others like me. I will not give up hope. I will not stoop to this level of self humiliation. I will not give up my modesty. Because I refuse to disrespect myself.

If I want to see porn, there is plenty of it free online. If I want to see naked people, there is plenty of that too. But if I want to start a relationship with somebody; then I don’t want that relationship to start with me seeing them nude. I’m just old-fashioned that way, I guess. Online dating is not for the faint of heart. That’s for sure. I imagine however, that I’m not alone. When I find my soul-mate at least I’ll know that it’s not going to be one of those people. The nude picture takers, that is. I know that no self-respecting human would do these sort of things. That and some people are just nasty. Unfortunately for the rest of us, some things just can’t be unseen. For goodness sake people put on some clothes! I prefer to buy my milk!