My Family Disowns Me, Part Two

When I was 18 years old my dad kicked me out of the house. I knew this was coming mind you. I heard him say it since I could remember. I graduated high school when I was 17. I like to tell people that because it makes them think I’m incredibly smart. In truth, I was just born in June and my birthday fell right after graduation. So, genius? Not so much. Anyway, as I was saying my dad had threatened me with this my whole life. When you are 18 you’re  outta here! I was expecting it. It was not a surprise.

Graduation night is supposed to be one of the best nights of your teenage life. Mine was turned into a nightmare by my dad. He invited my Evil Stepmonster to attend. By this time we had actually been away from her for three years. She had mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically abused me and my sister for five years and by that time it had all ended. My dad had either chosen to ignore it or he’s a complete and utter dumbass? Maybe both of those things are true? I still suffer the aftermath of my childhood. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, and Mood Disorder and that’s the tip of the iceberg, I’m sure. All because of my fucked up childhood. Thanks to my fucked up parents and especially thanks to my Evil Stepmonster.

Some background here. Quick synopsis of my childhood. Born, mom and dad hate each other, fight, fight, fight, put in foster home at 6 months old to a year old, mom and dad make up, get me back, fight, fight, fight, breakup, mom goes lesbian for a few months, mom decides she likes dick, mom and dad makeup, fight, fight, fight, breakup, live at grandmas with dad, mom and dad makeup, fight, fight, little sister is born, fight, breakup, makeup, fight, fight, mom leaves for another man, dad is left with us, we move in with grandma, live with her for three years, dad meets psycho bitch from hell and gets a really hot piece of ass and decides he can’t live without it, marries psycho bitch and she becomes the Evil Stepmonster, life as I know it is fucked up forever! Ok, so we will start there. My dad married this crazy bitch but no one knew how crazy she actually was. I knew the first week we were there. She came into the living room one night after I had taken a shower. I was 10 years old. She was a big woman. When I say big, I mean big. Tall big, like 6 foot and big size big, a definite plus size woman. When my dad had decided to marry her I cried all that day. Not because he was marrying someone who was not my mom. God knows, even then, I knew that, that relationship was never going to workout. I just knew that this was the end of my life as I knew it. Had she ever hit me or threatened me up to that point? No, she hadn’t. I just knew something was wrong. I’ll never forget my Aunt Brenda coming into my bedroom, which was actually just an extra bed in my grandmas room, and telling me that I was just upset because my dad was marrying someone who wasn’t my mom. Uh, no, Aunt Brenda that was totally not the fucking problem! Stupid adults. They think they know everything. You don’t! Anyway, my dad was doing this and there was nothing I could do to stop it. So yeah, my life was fucked! Like I was saying, that first night she showed her true colors was because I had hung my bath towel up and it was not straight. She leaned over me and said “You think you’re the queen of this house? You’re not! I am! And don’t you forget it! You little bitch!” Then she proceeded to beat me with her fist with body shots. She was good at covering her abuse. I was like a punching bag. She then said loudly “This is my house and I’m the queen of this house!” She had established her superiority. I knew this was going to be as bad, if not worse than I had anticipated. It wasn’t just us that she beat on. Her and my dad fought all the time. Got drunk and fought each other or more like she just beat the shit out of my dad because he wouldn’t hit a woman. He didn’t have any problem hitting me though. He had watched his dad beat his mom and he just wouldn’t hit my Stepmonster back. It was beyond a nightmare. I would say that my dad didn’t know she was beating us too but I don’t see how he didn’t know. I woke up one night to her standing beside the bunk beds. She was straggling my sister. I could her my sister choking. My sister was 4 years younger than me. So, she was like 6? I yelled as loud as I could for my dad. We left that night and went, you guessed it, back to grandmas. Then the Stepmonster called and actually talked my dad into coming back. My sister still had marks on her neck and my stupid ass father went back and took us back into that. My grandma had begged him not to take us back into that house. She begged him to just leave us there. He refused, of course and took us back to be tortured some more and possibly killed. He was thinking with his dick and not anything else.

So, my high school graduation night. He invites the bitch to come. Why in the hell was this happening to me? Then he insisted that I clean up my room. Why? Because the Evil Stepmonster could not stand anything to be out of place. This psycho bitch did white glove test after us kids had cleaned the house. I suspect he was doing this to get a piece of ass. I’m not sure but I hated him. I refused to pick up my room. He went off the deep end and beat me with the handle of the broom and left a huge bruise in the shape of the broom handle across my wrist. She attended my graduation. He got his wish. I don’t know if he got his wish of a piece of ass. But he got his wish of ruining my entire fucking night! My night. My night to walk across that stage and graduate from high school. He not only had ruined my life but he had ruined every special occasion or big moment I had ever had. I hated him. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of his house. Gladly, I would leave. As soon as I went to graduation week with my friends in Myrtle Beach, SC. As soon as I got back I was planning on leaving. This would not be any problem. Except for I didn’t have anywhere to go. But I figured I would figure that out after the week of fun away from him and all his crazy fucked up decisions.

When I got back from the beach I was officially 18. So, time to get out. I had a job. I have always worked since I was old enough to do it. Since I was like 10 years old. I started baby sitting for neighbors and mowing yards. Been working ever since. I learned very young that if you ever want anything then you have to work. My dad sure as hell wasn’t going to give me money. So, I worked. I had a job in high school. I worked all the way through high school. Paid for my car. Bought my necessities. I don’t even have my junior year annual because I had to pay for it and I didn’t have the money. I asked my dad and he said “You work. You buy it.” and that was that. And people wonder why I don’t want to be around my dad now. Well, I guess now you know. I love my dad because he is my dad but I don’t like him, at all.

I ended up moving in with my mom. My mom is a very religious person now. She was going to church and had changed her life for the better. She was still married to my step dad. The one she left my dad and us for. Religion was working for her. She really had changed. I was actually impressed. She kept on at me and kept asking me to go to church with her. I ended up giving in. I mean it had worked for her right? Why not? What could it hurt? So, I went and I ended up liking it. The pastor was so caring and loving and for the first time in my life I felt loved. The pastor was wonderful and I ended up staying at her church. As you all know, I’m a lesbian. I ended up getting really close with one of the women who played the bass guitar at church. She played the bass guitar and opened up the services. We hung out together a lot. I have a thing for musicians. She opened up to me that she use to be a lesbian. Eventually, we ended up together. So much for “use to be a lesbian” hey y’all a tiger can’t change it’s stripes, so I’ve learned the hard way. It was the biggest church scandal in Kannapolis, NC, ever! We walked out of church together. She was eleven years my senior. Her name is Vickie. I admired a lot of things about her. One of the biggest things was she had guts. She didn’t play. If she loved someone then she would fight for them. She was not scared of anything. She stood up for me to her family. To my family. To the church people. She’d beat somebody up for talking about me. She was not a fake. She didn’t ever pretend to be someone she wasn’t. Well? Maybe playing reformed lesbian for awhile in church? We were together for 9 years. We fought like cats and dogs. The sex was good but everything else was not. She was controlling. She was very jealous. She never really trusted me. She accused me of cheating so much that I actually thought about doing it. She was abusive physically sometimes too. But then I thought, what did I expect, this was just like my parents were. This must just be the way people really are? It was a rough relationship. She had a son who was 12 years old when we got together. He hated me. It wasn’t all bad though. We had our good times. We were out of the closet. Everybody knew we were together. That was nice. She ended up going back to Church and I did too. I stayed there for another two years. Until I walked out of church again and she stayed. I would still to this day be there if she needed me. She was my first. My first woman. My first time. My first partner. My first on a lot of things. I care about her as a friend still. I don’t want to be in a relationship with her ever again, but I’d still help her if she needed me and I’d like to think she would do the same for me.

As I said it was the biggest church scandal ever when we walked out of church and turned out to be, lesbians! God forbid! My mom kicked me out of her house but I was leaving anyway. She told me I was going to hell and she pretty much disowned me. She ended up not speaking to me for six months after I left her house. I embarrassed her. I was the worst person ever. I had waltzed into church and seduced the bass player and the pastors right hand woman. I was the devil. I say that hearing Kathy Bates in the Water Boys  voice. Sorry. Anyways, I was the bad one. I had quite the reputation among church goers in that small town. So, my mom disowned me as I said, and my dad actually tried to talk me out of being a lesbian. I told him I was a lesbian when I was in the 4th grade. He didn’t believe me. He didn’t think I even knew what a lesbian was. Guess I proved him wrong? He told me we ALL had those tendencies but it didn’t mean we had to act on them. That acting on them was a choice. That’s the point of the conversation that it got weird. All I could think about was, did my dad have these tendencies? I think I probably blocked out the rest of that conversation, I’m just sayin’ people, wouldn’t you have? He called me at Vickies moms house where we were staying at that point, before we left. Due in part because her brother and mom got told we were “together” because the church people told them. And just like I said, Vickie was not having anyone saying anything about me. So, they said she could stay but I’d have to go. We both left. She gave them the choice. Either I stayed or we both left. It was a huge mess. Her and her brother ended up physically fighting. Her brother hunted me down with a gun. He was going to kill me. I remember hiding out at this guys house waiting to be told if the coast was clear. I didn’t even know the guy. He was a friend of her sisters. Waiting for the coast to be clear so I wouldn’t get shot. Yeah, it was crazy. But my family and her family had disowned us. All but her sister. She let us stay at her house until we got a place. With her and her husband and five kids. She didn’t have room but she made room. I loved her. She died young of cervical cancer. She was not only my, well, sort of sister-in-law except not in law. She was like my sister too. My sister didn’t have anything to do with me for a long long time. Even when she did finally speak to me she wouldn’t allow me to be around my neice or for my neice to be around me because I was a big fucking lesbian. Ha! How’d that work out for her? In spite of her keeping my neice away from me my neice ended up dating a woman for awhile. Hey, she can’t blame that one on me. That was all her and her straight husbands fault. Even kept her away from me when I started going back to church and was a “reformed lesbian” Scared I would make her daughter gay. Well, like I said, wasn’t me. I mean, she’s with a guy now but yeah, she went there.

So, that is the first story of my family disowning me and now we get to do it all over again. I was disowned at 19 and now I’m getting disowned again at age 44. Why? Because I’m doing it again. I’m being a lesbian. I got news for all of you. I’ve always been a lesbian. I’ve been a lesbian all my life. I know this because I had a crush on Lisa Welchel on the Mikey Mouse Club, I was 4 years old. Can’t make this shit up. I’ve tried to pray it away. I’ve tried to be someone I’m not. I can’t be reformed or delivered. The demon or spirit can’t be prayed out. I can’t practice abstinence so that I can be “right with God” I’ve already tried their way. It has never worked. It’s not gonna work now. All my friends are mostly church people. Well, were church people. They all have pretty much said that I’m, no surprise here, gonna go to hell. My mom has told me this too. She however has decided to at least talk to me but I’m still going to hell. But I know this, I was told. I know better. I know what’s right. I’m choosing to do wrong. Here we go again. My dad only calls me if he wants something. My sister is the same. My neice? Well, she and I have never really been close. She never called me to begin with. So, here I am at 44 and nothing has ever really changed. I haven’t changed in 44 years and neither has my family. I love them because they are my family but, I mean come on. Can’t we just all get along? For once in my life I’m truly happy and I can’t even share this with my family but then I think, when has my family ever been happy? Or happy for me? Never. So just like I’m not going to change being a lesbian, they aren’t going to change how they feel about me being a lesbian. I guess both parties are just going to have to agree to disagree. And so goes my disowning part two. But at this point I’m pretty much thinking, fuck them all! I don’t care anymore what anyone else thinks. I’m going to be happy. I’m not living the rest of my life hiding or pretending. Those days are gone forever! Knock, knock motherfuckers! It’s me, your lesbian daughter! I’m out of the closet and you can’t shove me back in no matter what you  think or do. It’s over folks. Like it or lump it. This lesbian has found the one that’s going to make me happy for the rest of my life. And who knows, one day I may actually marry this woman. And I think they hate me now? What’s that going to do? But I’m definitely not taking relationship advice from my parents. They never have had any success at that, themselves. At least I don’t have children to fuck up in my life. So, when they start wanting to give me advice on what to do. I just need to simply say, “Look parents and sibling. None of y’all have ever had any success at relationships. I don’t need or want your advice. Not now, not ever. And if you want to cast the blame of me being a lesbian? Go look in the mirror. And thanks to you, my wonderful loving parents for fucking me up so much that I’ve lived a completely horrible life, up until now. And you’re not going to fuck this up! Just because you all have never been happy doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be happy. So, pretty much either be happy for me or fuck off!” Sorry that that’s the way I feel, but it is.

This was a very personal post from me. Raw and unfiltered. I told myself that when I started blogging that I was going to be as truthful and as open as posssible. This is why I write like I speak. Sometimes I have a filter and sometimes I don’t. This is my life. I want to be as open and as honest as I can. But this one folks is probably the hardest one to post. It deals with some of the horrors of my past but then it ends up with the best thing that has ever happened to me, my Steph. I know, with her, I’m truly happy. I know my parents can’t mess this one up. I know that whether either one of them or my sister and neice accept me or not. She’s the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, regardless. Getting disowned at 19 was hard, really hard. But now, I don’t even care if they disown me. I’ve got my Steph and that’s all that really matters to me anymore. Thanks for reading my post and being supportive. I appreciate my readers more than they’ll ever know. And this is the reason I blog. To share my life with the ups and the downs, with all of y’all.

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My Hero

My Hero

A Poem by Karen Lyles

The waters were murky as I stood watching the waves lap at my feet.
I was afraid as my heart pounded against my chest.
The wind scorched my skin from sheer cold.
I couldn’t do it.
I could not make myself leave the sand of the shore.
I thought of the pain from being alone.
I thought of the pain from heartbreak.
I thought of the tenderness that I longed to share with another woman.
I took a step.
The water was cold against my bare toes.
I wanted to pull back.
I wanted to run.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t go forward but I couldn’t go back either.
Why was I so afraid?
I took a deep breath and stepped forward again.
The cold of the water over took my feet.
I shivered.
I looked out over the waters.
There was nothing but the water and the sky.
It was beautiful.
Maybe this won’t be such an awful way to die?
Why can’t I be what everyone expects me to be?
Why have I let everyone down?
Once again, I move toward the deep.
The waters are taking over my knees now.
I’m cold to the core of my soul.
There was no need.
No one was ever going to complete me.
I was a lost soul.
A lost soul-searching for something that would make me feel whole.
I stepped in the waters further.
My thighs became engulfed with the cold. Cold, the way I felt already.
Cold throughout my mind, body and soul. Nothing would ever warm me again.
I stepped again.
The wetness surrounded my waist.
The waves crashed into my chest.
This was good.
Now my body was as numb as I was inside.
I went to step another step.
I stop.
I hear someone.
She’s calling from somewhere but I can’t tell where from.
I go to step.
I stop.
I hear her voice more clearly now.
She’s calling me.
I wanted to die.
I wanted to give up.
But now.
Where was she?
Was I hallucinating?
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back into the wind.
She was there.
She was there behind the lids of my eyes. She was in my mind.
I know her.
Somehow, I know her.
I feel her pain.
It’s a lot like mine.
I sink into her eyes.
Her voice is comforting but arousing my body at the same time.
I shook my head trying to get her out.
She didn’t leave.
She embraced me.
I felt warm even as my body was physically engulfed by the cold.
I didn’t want to open my eyes because I was afraid she’d be gone forever if I did.
I was afraid to speak.
I was afraid to breathe.
As her embrace tightened, I surrendered. As her lips took mine, I shivered but this time not from the cold.
As I looked into her eyes, I loved her.
The hot tears running down my cheeks burned like fire.
I was burning throughout my body.
I knew her and didn’t even know her name. I knew her however.
Nothing and no one had ever made me feel this alive.
I was alive.
She saved me that day.
The day she invaded my heart.
She saved me.
I don’t know how she knew.
I don’t know why she cared but she saved me.
Maybe she’ll never know that I was drowning that day.
The day she came into my life.
Maybe she’ll never know that she is my hero.
I know, that day she changed my life.
That day she completed my soul.
That day she became the only one I’d ever really loved.
That day she mended all my brokenness and made me whole.
I know, that I will never let her go.

There’s Free Milk Everywhere, Y’all!

My original title for the blog was going to be ‘Where has modesty gone?’. But I think this one was more catchy. So here goes nothing.

Sorry folks but I have got to rant. I have recently been checking out dating sites. Let me tell you it has not been a good experience. I don’t know if I’m just too old or just have too much self-respect but….OH MY GOD! I was not expecting what I’ve found. I guess it’s no surprise to people who frequent these sites. Maybe they like it? I don’t. I mean, leave something for the imagination people. Don’t ask me to send you nude photos of myself because it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to see yours and I’m definitely not showing you mine. What has happened to modesty? Was it thrown out the window with the Kardashians? I can’t stand this. It is absolutely unbelievable to me that society thinks this is okay.

I’ve always been a modest person. I don’t even like to take my clothes off at the doctor’s office. I’ve never been comfortable in a bathing suit, even when I was skinny. I’ve never felt comfortable being naked in front of somebody unless we were intimate together. I hated P.E. in school simply because you had to dress and undress in front of people and God forbid take a shower with other people. This was traumatic for me. Maybe that’s why I find all this over the top, in your face exposure so disgusting? There’s something to be said for leaving a little mystery.

This epidemic is not just a generation thing or even a gender thing, it’s a society thing. People have no self-respect at all anymore. They think this type of behavior is fine. Some people may read this and say that I’m just an old fogey. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just have respect for myself and others. I don’t want to subject people to images of my vagina, breast, butt, or any other part of my anatomy that shouldn’t be displayed publicly. My face is good enough. If you don’t like my face then you don’t need to see anymore of me. I know in these days of Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram and the like, that it might be hard not to give into peer pressure and post nude pictures of yourself. Though, this would never be a problem for me personally, but maybe it’s like smoking was back in my day? Maybe this is how it is with the younger generation? But they are definitely not the only ones. Maybe instead of trying to fit in by smoking or doing drugs, they feel the pressure to expose themselves in pictures online? I don’t know.

With all of this being said, I don’t know if I’m ready to start dating. I certainly am not ready for kissing on the first date. I’m not ready to fall into bed with anyone on the first date. I don’t even like holding hands in public. I have never been one for public displays of affection. I am not promiscuous and never have been. It’s not going to start now. Also, as a nurse I’m scared that everybody has a STD. Then these dating sites don’t help my nursing mind to disprove this fear. I feel so much older than my forty-something mind right now.

Are there any modest, humble, discreet, mysterious people left in this world? Really, are there? I hope, beyond hope that there are. Am I the only person who feels this way? Am I the only one who feels like they need to wash their eyes after flipping through these photos? Am I the only person in this world who doesn’t want to be bombarded with these images? Maybe I’m too cerebral? Maybe I’m too much of a thinker? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned? Maybe I still believe in the art of seduction and romance? Maybe I’m just being too unrealistic? Gone are the days of flowers, a box of chocolates, wine, dine, charm, opening doors, pulling out chairs, respect. Like my grandmother use to say “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?” There’s free milk everywhere, y’all! Don’t get me wrong I can appreciate the beauty of the human form but only after we are in a relationship and I want to see you naked.

I refuse to allow these things to change me, however. I will not believe that there are not others like me. I will not give up hope. I will not stoop to this level of self humiliation. I will not give up my modesty. Because I refuse to disrespect myself.

If I want to see porn, there is plenty of it free online. If I want to see naked people, there is plenty of that too. But if I want to start a relationship with somebody; then I don’t want that relationship to start with me seeing them nude. I’m just old-fashioned that way, I guess. Online dating is not for the faint of heart. That’s for sure. I imagine however, that I’m not alone. When I find my soul-mate at least I’ll know that it’s not going to be one of those people. The nude picture takers, that is. I know that no self-respecting human would do these sort of things. That and some people are just nasty. Unfortunately for the rest of us, some things just can’t be unseen. For goodness sake people put on some clothes! I prefer to buy my milk!

I. Am. Fed. Up!

Over the past few days I have been bombarded with this Donald Trump rallies/ Move On movement all over the TV and everywhere else. As my title to this blog implies, I am fed up. In that aspect I have something in common with Trump supporters, I suppose. I am not a Trump supporter. As a matter of fact, I’m not a supporter of either party. There is no politician alive that thinks like I do. Never has been, and probably never will be. I am a registered voter but I am registered as unaffiliated and that’s the way I like it. I will vote for whoever I think will do the best job. I will cast my vote in the primaries in order to sway which way I want the election to go. Sometimes my vote in the primaries is less about who I’d actually vote for and more about casting a vote against a particular politician. See, for those of you who don’t know. When I walk into the primaries to cast my vote, I get to choose which party I vote for. I can vote democrat, republican or libertarian and I’ve used this to my specific advantage over the years. This year I’ve already cast my ballot and I chose to vote republican. As I said before, I don’t like Donald Trump and I cast a vote for Marco Rubio, against Trump. I think that having Trump as our president would be a complete disaster. With that being said, I don’t like Hillary either. I think they are both as full of shit as they can possibly be. Here’s a quick bit of info for you all… Poli-tics, poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites. So, many blood sucking parasites. That about sums them all up. Some more than others.

My political views have always been different than anybody else’s. This probably doesn’t surprise any of my close friends because I’ve never had a problem speaking my mind about anything that is considered a “touchy” subject. I’ll listen to your side of the story just as well. I believe you have the right to peacefully assemble and protest but from what I’ve seen over the past several days, it has been far from peaceful, on both sides. I believe in women’s rights. I think that women should be able to do anything a man can and get paid as much for doing it. I also think that women, as a woman, I don’t think we help ourselves any by trying to be all slutty and showing off ourselves as sexual objects, this doesn’t make people, especially men, view us as equals. I think women should use their brains and not their bodies to get attention and gain respect. Feminism is about empowering women. Taking off your clothes and publishing nude pictures of yourself or doing porn does not qualify as empowering. It is belittling. It is disgraceful. It’s giving men the degrading images that hold us, as women, down and does not empower us, at all. You have that right though but from one woman to another, please stop? This is another reason I can’t vote for Trump. I hate beauty pageants and I think they should be banned. Women should not be paraded around in swimsuits and judged by their appearance. I know they have to have talent and answer questions about issues but, I mean, please, when’s the last time you saw a 200 plus pound woman win? Ever? Right. I didn’t think so. When’s the last time you saw a woman with short hair, wearing a tuxedo during the “gown” competition and not wearing makeup win? Same as before, never. So, let’s do ourselves a favor as women and boycott this kind of sexist event. I don’t believe the government should be an all consuming force. Ask the people who lived in Russia under socialism how that worked out for them. Ask the people in Germany who lived through Hitler, how that worked out for them. There’s a line that our government should never cross. They shouldn’t be able to tell me what I believe or what I shouldn’t or what I can say or not. I do believe we need stronger borders. It’s not fair to the people who follow the rules and paths for citizenship in this country. There should be consequences for breaking the law and it should be enforced. If we didn’t have borders then there wouldn’t even be different countries. The U.S.A. Wouldn’t even exist if we didn’t have borders. I appreciate the fact that people think that this is such a wonderful place to live that they want to move here but there are rules. You have to have rules. You have to follow those rules if you want to live here. That’s just the way it is. If I wanted to go live in Canada then I’d have to follow their rules. Same here. If I entered Canada illegally then there would be consequences. That’s the way borders work. We can’t all just willy nelly switch countries. That would be mass chaos. So, yeah, strengthen our borders, agreed. I don’t believe in abortion, I believe in common sense. I believe that in certain situations that a woman should be able to have a legal abortion, like rape or incest or life threatening pregnancy. It’s not the popular view but it’s my view. I don’t think that abortion should be used as a form of birth control and some people use it as such. There are plenty of ways to not get pregnant so, use them. I believe that marijuana should be legalized in all states. Marijuana’s benefits far outweigh the risk. If marijuana was legal and regulated by the government, like alcohol and cigarettes then we could pay off the national debt in no time. Not even mentioning the economic boom and jobs it would create. Medically, marijuana would be an asset to the medical community and the patients. Do you know it is not possible for someone to overdose on marijuana? However, it is very possible for someone to overdose on oxycodone, hydrocodone, morphine, dilaudid, OxyContin, alcohol, cocaine, heroine, and even codeine. I think that legalizing marijuana would help a lot of people with drug dependencies, anxiety, depression, cancer, PTSD, chronic pain, nausea, migraines, arthritis and they can’t kill themselves by overdosing. Like I said the benefits far outweigh the risk. Alcohol is legal and causes far more problems than marijuana ever has. I believe that legal unions between same-sex couples are fine but if the word “marriage” offends some people then just don’t label it as such, as long as “civil union” has the same rights as marriage then I don’t care. I think there should be common law marriages for anybody that has lived in the same household that are not related to each other, legally or otherwise, after seven years. I mean, some people don’t even believe in marriage and it’s not fair that they can’t file taxes together or claim each other on their work insurance or benefits. I also think that if you have an elderly parent that you are taking care of, that you should be able to claim them as a dependent on your taxes. Even if they aren’t living under the same roof as you. I think the social security system needs an overhaul. People cannot live off social security and they, at a certain age, should be able to live comfortably. They’ve paid their dues in the workforce and deserve free healthcare and a decent check with an amount that is reasonable. No one can live off of a $700 check or less a month. Then have to pay for insurance out of that. I think we need a better healthcare system and Obamacare is not it. I don’t think in such a wealthy country that we should have anyone that is not covered by some sort of medical coverage. There are still people who do not have healthcare and do without medicine and medical care because they fall through the holes. I know this because not only do I see it all the time at work but my sister is one of them. In our country everyone should have healthcare, dental care and vision care, no exceptions. I volunteered at a clinic where this was the population that we saw. The people who, for one reason or another, could not afford healthcare and didn’t qualify for government help. It happens people, still. I believe in equal opportunity for all but I don’t believe that someone should get priority for getting a job because of the color of their skin, thier sex, their religious beliefs, their sexual orientation, physical disability, age or anything of this sort. You should hire the best candidate for the job, period. That’s why I refuse to answer those questions on a job application. I don’t think that there should EVER be anyone in this country that doesn’t have food, shelter, and clothing. We are far to great of a nation for this to even be possible. These are just a few of my particular brand of beliefs and so you can see why I have a hard time finding a political party that matches them. The only way I’d find a political party that believed the things I believe would be if I started my own. I also don’t believe that companies should get tax breaks for sending jobs over seas. We have plenty of people in this country that need jobs. If you want jobs to come here then give companies huge incentives to make products here in America. If everything we bought was made in America imagine the financial state we’d be in. I don’t think anyone should discriminate against any certain group of people and that includes Evangelical Christians. They have as much right to believe and speak about their beliefs as anyone else does. I think that if someone disagrees with something because it’s their beliefs, then they shouldn’t be made to do it. Like if you are a pastor and you don’t believe in marrying a couple because they are the same-sex then you shouldn’t have to. If your religious beliefs are against something then you shouldn’t be forced to praticipate. Like the cake shop that refused to make the wedding cake for a same-sex couple. That was their business and they should have that right. That would be like going into a Jewish owned establishment and forcing them to put their meat and eggs in the same place. It’s not Kosher, in more ways than one. So, just go somewhere else and do business. It’s a FREE country. That’s why we choose to live here. If a shop was owned by a same-sex couple and they didn’t believe in opposite-sex marriage and they refused to make a wedding cake for them then that would be alright too. You see we should all be able to have the right to stand for what we believe in. Freedom of religion, speech, and all of the constitution, applies to us all. I believe in the right to bear arms. I am an avid gun enthusiast and I have that right by the 2nd amendment. Do I think you should have to have an extensive background check to be able to buy guns? Yes, of course you should, but only criminals don’t follow these laws. Law abiding people are the ones who legally purchase firearms. Criminals will have guns no matter what, because they are Criminals! Wake up people! More gun laws are not going to change the way criminals obtain guns. More gun laws are just going to keep honest people from being able to protect themselves from those criminals. I like to think of it this way. My dad use to say that someone was a “hotel thief”. When I asked him what in the heck is a “hotel thief?” His response was, “They wouldn’t break in your house to steal from you, but if you give them a key they’ll rob you blind.” Good point. Honest people are, well, honest and dishonest people, well, you get the point. Another problem I have with gun control is Hitler, yes, Hitler, yes that one, I think there was only one? Thank God. Well, he was Pro- gun control too. I don’t make a point of quoting sadist but here is a quote from him, “This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!”- Adolph Hitler- 1935. Hmm? Right before he started rounding up the Jews, homosexuals and anyone who helped them into concentration camps. Probably helped that they couldn’t protect themselves, huh? Yeah, like I said.

Anyway, with all of that being said I think that Donald Trump has as much right to safely hold a political rally as anyone else does. Do I like him? No. Do I think he should be attacked and the people who have come to hear him be attacked? No. We all need to keep in mind that just because we don’t agree with someone’s opinion does not mean that they are “ignorent”, “uneducated”, “racist”, or “bigots”. We all have the right to voice our opinions. Whether right or wrong. Whether we agree or not. We still have that right. We have got to stand for something in this nation or we’re going to fall for anything. Stop being so “Politically Correct”. Honestly I think that the term “Politically Correct” is an oxymoron. What’s correct about politics? It’s the most incorrect thing in this country. Even though people say that anyone can someday grow up and become the president. It’s not true. You have to have money and a lot of it to run for any office, especially the presidential office. Do people really believe they are helping by protesting these rallies? Hell No! You’re just giving Donald Trump more attention and free air time. That’s all you’re doing. If you want him to win, then keep up the good work. If you’d rather not have a president Trump, then stop giving him what he wants. He wants you to get him on the news. He wants you to protest and give him fuel to stoke the fire even more. You’re playing into his game. And then the Liberials say that the Republicans are the uneducated people, well, I don’t know? Looks to me like you’re the ones getting played.

I’m sick of hearing about Donald Trump. I’m sick of politicians in general. They ALL lie! ALL of them no matter what party. My request to you all, is this. Vote for the person who best fits your personal beliefs. You have that right. I’m definitely not telling anyone who to vote for. It’s all of our rights to vote. That’s called a democracy. So, are you for Trump or not? If you are, vote for him. If you’re not, then don’t. But let him speak. That’s his right. Just like it’s my right to write this blog. Stop the madness. Educate yourself on the candidates and make your voice heard in November, at the polls and in the primaries, vote for your candidate or against another one. It’s still a free country. Let’s keep it that way.

 

Men? I Just Don’t Get Y’all

I was watching one of the entertainment shows last night and they were talking about, who else but Donald Trump. They were showing clips of wise cracks that he had made about Marco Rubio and vice versa. So, it caught my attention. It was actually Marco Rubio’s remark that caught my attention. He said “And you know what they say about men with small hands?” When I first heard this I thought “What in the hell?” Then he proceeded to say “That they can’t be trusted.” The crowds reaction to the first part of that statement was like mine. You could tell that we all knew what “they say” about men with small hands, and what he said, was not it. Well, that in and of itself wasn’t what was so funny to me. What I thought was funny was the guy in the audience standing behind Rubio. He was actually checking out his own hands. Like he’d never looked at his hands before. Like he just discovered he had hands. We all know why he was so intent on looking at his hands. He wanted to see if they were small or not. I had to rewind just to see the look on this guy’s face. He was looking at his hands and actually looking around at the other people near him. He said something to the guy next to him. The guy was probably his friend, I hope. But I was thinking that, I wondered what he said? What would you say? Did he say “Well, I don’t have to worry about that.” Or “That’s not true. Is it?” I don’t know what he said but I thought it was hilarious. I mean do people say anything about women like that? I mean we don’t make assumptions about women’s body parts being bigger if they have big hands or big feet or a big nose. We may suspect if a woman has all those things that maybe she’s not a woman, but we don’t judge the size of anything else by it. By the way, if a woman has all those characteristics then maybe you should check for an Adam’s apple. I’m just saying.

This just got me to thinking. No one obsesses about the the size of men’s packages more than the men themselves. Nobody else really cares. I don’t get it though. I mean you’ve got so much going for you as a man. I mean at least you have one. Who cares how big it is? But you. I mean come on? You can pee standing up. You can pee in a cup or bottle riding down the road. Camping is no big deal to you and you’re a man for gods sake. That fact in and of itself gets you places that us women either don’t get to go or just get overlooked for because we are the “weaker” sex(i.e. The President of the United States of America). You get to play pro football, albeit if you’re good enough but I haven’t seen any women in the NFL. You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or having babies or good forbid having a period. You can walk around without a shirt on in public and you won’t get arrested. You don’t have to wear a freaking bra! You can hop up out of the bed and be ready and presentable in five minutes. You don’t have to wear makeup and aren’t expected to. You don’t have to shave any part of your body but your face and even if you don’t shave then that’s okay too. You’d just have a mustache, beard, soul patch or goatee. As a woman you can’t do that with any hair we have on our body. I mean can you imagine a woman walking around in shorts with all the hair grown out on her legs and saying to her friends “I just wanted to see what I’d look like with hair on my legs.” No, you aren’t going to see that. Why? Because we as women can’t get away with that but you guys can shave or not. Whichever decision you make is ok. You don’t have to worry about walking alone at night. You don’t get whistled at and lewd commits made because you’re wearing shorts or a bathing suit. You get a better deal on cars simply because you’re a man. The mechanic is not going to try and pull some bull crap on you to get you to pay for something you really don’t need because they’re afraid to, because you’re a man. You’re less likely to get sexually harassed. Not saying that doesn’t happen to men, at all. Just saying it’s less likely. You can wear your hair however you want to. You could shave your hair completely off and it’s fine. I mean you have so much going for you simply because you have that piece of equipment. Who cares if it’s big or small? I mean, I would trade places with you and not give a flying flip what size it was. Really.

In conclusion of this rant. Nobody really cares but y’all. So stop worrying over how big your hands, feet, nose, and that is. Start worrying about how you treat others. Especially women. Regardless of sexual orientation all of us women really want the same things. Someone who will treat us with respect. Someone to look at us as equal, not lesser. Someone who will love us for who we really are. Someone who loves us regardless of our age, weight, size, color, hairstyle, dress, how big or little our boobs or butt is, wealthy or not. We want to be judged by our minds not how pretty we are. That’s what we really want. To treat us like we are the only person in the world and the only one you want to be with. If you do all those things. Then we won’t care about the size of your thing. Got it? Good. Now, stop looking at your hands and start loving with your heart.