It’s Never Been “Just Sex”

My inspiration, my muse and I were talking today and I was like, Damn! I got an idea for a post! She inspires me like that. Yeah, she’s pretty damn awesome. We were talking about how neither of us have ever been the type to fall into bed with somebody. It’s never been “just sex” for me. I know this because I tried to do the “just sex” thing when I was in high school. I was very drunk and thought that I could have sex with this guy I’d been dating but even as drunk as I was, I couldn’t do it. Thank god he didn’t force me to, because I was truly so drunk that he probably could have. But I said no and he stopped. I guess I’m blessed that he was somewhat of a gentleman. I know many women who have had quite the opposite experience with this. It’s never okay for someone to force you to do something that you say no to. That’s never okay. Just know that. There is no excuse for that. It’s wrong. If you feel like this has happened to you then please tell someone. Get help. Don’t let it go or make excuses for the person who did it to you. It’s never right, under any circumstances. I just want you to know this. If you need help? You let me know and we will get you help. That I promise.

I am what the lesbian community refers to as a “Gold Star”, if any of you have watched The L Word then you probably know what this means. It simply means that I have never had sex with a man. I have only been with women. Some men may think that this means that technically I’m still a virgin. Well, let me tell you fellas, I’m definitely not a virgin! Then you get people who say, well how do you know you don’t like it with a man if you’ve never tried it? Again, let me tell you some things I know I don’t like even without trying it. If I see a gawd awful looking flashy sparkly shirt in the store, I know I wouldn’t like it even without trying it on, trust me. So, I’ve known that I don’t like men, not sexually, for all my life. I didn’t have to try it to know that. So, please, don’t even go there with me, okay?

Alright, back to the subject at hand. So, sex without love is just sex. I know and am very well aware that there are plenty of people out there that can truly just have sex, no strings attached. Well, not this girl. I met a lot of those people on the dating sites. It scares me! What? It really does. I guess I’ve never understood how you can be so intimate with another person without having feelings for them. I mean, I got propositions for the sex, no strings attached, thing but, uh no. Not interested. If you’ll have just sex with me and you don’t even know me then who the hell else have you had just sex with? Yeah! Scary! That’s how people get STD’s people! I’m a nurse for fuck sake! I know about these things. It’s not just that though. I mean yeah, the nastiness of it all is a huge turn off but it’s not just that. I have always had to have feelings for someone before I could do anything with them. And I’m not going to have feelings for someone that’s like, hit me up for a good time. Sorry, but not sorry. I’m kind of glad that I am the way I am. At least I know I’ve never had sex with someone I wasn’t in love with. That’s a comforting feeling to me.

You know most lesbians that I’ve ever met have been with at least one man. Some more than that. I think, just like me probably, they thought it was a requirement to at least try it. Sometimes I think us lesbians do it because we are really trying not to be lesbians. And maybe this would change our minds? Well, most of the time I think it just confirms what we knew in the first place. That we are truly lesbians.

In high school I was a horrible wild ass teenager. I drank alcohol, a lot. I did drugs, most of them. I never shot up. But everything else, yeah, probably did it? It is truly a miracle that at some point I didn’t end up sleeping with a guy? I never did though. I can appreciate a nice looking man or woman but not enough to drop my pants for them. No matter how good looking they are. There is more to it than that. I mean you have to have a connection. Mentally, emotionally, it has to be there before the physical can even be worth it. I guess I’ve never thought it was worth it to give myself to someone that didn’t love me and I didn’t love them. What a complete waste of time? I’m not into wasting my time.

I am so glad that I’ve found my girlfriend and I’m so glad that it’s not all about sex for her either. My first partner, well, let’s just say she really tried to not be a lesbian. That’s a nice way of putting it. And then my second partner, well, she was married to the same man for 25 years. Most people would say that’s pretty convincing proof of not being a lesbian? Yeah, well, sometimes not. My girlfriend now, she’s not or never has been promiscuous. Just like me. We have that in common, for sure. That and we don’t have kids and all the exes still being in the picture because they will always be in the picture when you have kids together. The tie that binds you forever.

So, speaking to all you people that think it’s okay to have “just sex”, how do you justify this? I’m asking clearly because I don’t understand how you can. I would like to know how it’s possible? I mean, I don’t think I could even get turned on enough to do it if I didn’t have feelings for the person. So, yeah, clearly I don’t get it. Is there any situation that makes it alright to have “just sex”? I can’t even think that way. Maybe some of us are just made differently? Maybe that’s it? Or maybe it’s some bad experience in your past that drove you to being able to have sex with no strings attached? No feelings? Who knows? Obviously, not me. So, feel free to comment and fill me in on your opinions. I’d love to hear them. Later Y’all!

There’s Free Milk Everywhere, Y’all!

My original title for the blog was going to be ‘Where has modesty gone?’. But I think this one was more catchy. So here goes nothing.

Sorry folks but I have got to rant. I have recently been checking out dating sites. Let me tell you it has not been a good experience. I don’t know if I’m just too old or just have too much self-respect but….OH MY GOD! I was not expecting what I’ve found. I guess it’s no surprise to people who frequent these sites. Maybe they like it? I don’t. I mean, leave something for the imagination people. Don’t ask me to send you nude photos of myself because it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to see yours and I’m definitely not showing you mine. What has happened to modesty? Was it thrown out the window with the Kardashians? I can’t stand this. It is absolutely unbelievable to me that society thinks this is okay.

I’ve always been a modest person. I don’t even like to take my clothes off at the doctor’s office. I’ve never been comfortable in a bathing suit, even when I was skinny. I’ve never felt comfortable being naked in front of somebody unless we were intimate together. I hated P.E. in school simply because you had to dress and undress in front of people and God forbid take a shower with other people. This was traumatic for me. Maybe that’s why I find all this over the top, in your face exposure so disgusting? There’s something to be said for leaving a little mystery.

This epidemic is not just a generation thing or even a gender thing, it’s a society thing. People have no self-respect at all anymore. They think this type of behavior is fine. Some people may read this and say that I’m just an old fogey. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just have respect for myself and others. I don’t want to subject people to images of my vagina, breast, butt, or any other part of my anatomy that shouldn’t be displayed publicly. My face is good enough. If you don’t like my face then you don’t need to see anymore of me. I know in these days of Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram and the like, that it might be hard not to give into peer pressure and post nude pictures of yourself. Though, this would never be a problem for me personally, but maybe it’s like smoking was back in my day? Maybe this is how it is with the younger generation? But they are definitely not the only ones. Maybe instead of trying to fit in by smoking or doing drugs, they feel the pressure to expose themselves in pictures online? I don’t know.

With all of this being said, I don’t know if I’m ready to start dating. I certainly am not ready for kissing on the first date. I’m not ready to fall into bed with anyone on the first date. I don’t even like holding hands in public. I have never been one for public displays of affection. I am not promiscuous and never have been. It’s not going to start now. Also, as a nurse I’m scared that everybody has a STD. Then these dating sites don’t help my nursing mind to disprove this fear. I feel so much older than my forty-something mind right now.

Are there any modest, humble, discreet, mysterious people left in this world? Really, are there? I hope, beyond hope that there are. Am I the only person who feels this way? Am I the only one who feels like they need to wash their eyes after flipping through these photos? Am I the only person in this world who doesn’t want to be bombarded with these images? Maybe I’m too cerebral? Maybe I’m too much of a thinker? Maybe I’m just old-fashioned? Maybe I still believe in the art of seduction and romance? Maybe I’m just being too unrealistic? Gone are the days of flowers, a box of chocolates, wine, dine, charm, opening doors, pulling out chairs, respect. Like my grandmother use to say “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?” There’s free milk everywhere, y’all! Don’t get me wrong I can appreciate the beauty of the human form but only after we are in a relationship and I want to see you naked.

I refuse to allow these things to change me, however. I will not believe that there are not others like me. I will not give up hope. I will not stoop to this level of self humiliation. I will not give up my modesty. Because I refuse to disrespect myself.

If I want to see porn, there is plenty of it free online. If I want to see naked people, there is plenty of that too. But if I want to start a relationship with somebody; then I don’t want that relationship to start with me seeing them nude. I’m just old-fashioned that way, I guess. Online dating is not for the faint of heart. That’s for sure. I imagine however, that I’m not alone. When I find my soul-mate at least I’ll know that it’s not going to be one of those people. The nude picture takers, that is. I know that no self-respecting human would do these sort of things. That and some people are just nasty. Unfortunately for the rest of us, some things just can’t be unseen. For goodness sake people put on some clothes! I prefer to buy my milk!

I. Am. Fed. Up!

Over the past few days I have been bombarded with this Donald Trump rallies/ Move On movement all over the TV and everywhere else. As my title to this blog implies, I am fed up. In that aspect I have something in common with Trump supporters, I suppose. I am not a Trump supporter. As a matter of fact, I’m not a supporter of either party. There is no politician alive that thinks like I do. Never has been, and probably never will be. I am a registered voter but I am registered as unaffiliated and that’s the way I like it. I will vote for whoever I think will do the best job. I will cast my vote in the primaries in order to sway which way I want the election to go. Sometimes my vote in the primaries is less about who I’d actually vote for and more about casting a vote against a particular politician. See, for those of you who don’t know. When I walk into the primaries to cast my vote, I get to choose which party I vote for. I can vote democrat, republican or libertarian and I’ve used this to my specific advantage over the years. This year I’ve already cast my ballot and I chose to vote republican. As I said before, I don’t like Donald Trump and I cast a vote for Marco Rubio, against Trump. I think that having Trump as our president would be a complete disaster. With that being said, I don’t like Hillary either. I think they are both as full of shit as they can possibly be. Here’s a quick bit of info for you all… Poli-tics, poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites. So, many blood sucking parasites. That about sums them all up. Some more than others.

My political views have always been different than anybody else’s. This probably doesn’t surprise any of my close friends because I’ve never had a problem speaking my mind about anything that is considered a “touchy” subject. I’ll listen to your side of the story just as well. I believe you have the right to peacefully assemble and protest but from what I’ve seen over the past several days, it has been far from peaceful, on both sides. I believe in women’s rights. I think that women should be able to do anything a man can and get paid as much for doing it. I also think that women, as a woman, I don’t think we help ourselves any by trying to be all slutty and showing off ourselves as sexual objects, this doesn’t make people, especially men, view us as equals. I think women should use their brains and not their bodies to get attention and gain respect. Feminism is about empowering women. Taking off your clothes and publishing nude pictures of yourself or doing porn does not qualify as empowering. It is belittling. It is disgraceful. It’s giving men the degrading images that hold us, as women, down and does not empower us, at all. You have that right though but from one woman to another, please stop? This is another reason I can’t vote for Trump. I hate beauty pageants and I think they should be banned. Women should not be paraded around in swimsuits and judged by their appearance. I know they have to have talent and answer questions about issues but, I mean, please, when’s the last time you saw a 200 plus pound woman win? Ever? Right. I didn’t think so. When’s the last time you saw a woman with short hair, wearing a tuxedo during the “gown” competition and not wearing makeup win? Same as before, never. So, let’s do ourselves a favor as women and boycott this kind of sexist event. I don’t believe the government should be an all consuming force. Ask the people who lived in Russia under socialism how that worked out for them. Ask the people in Germany who lived through Hitler, how that worked out for them. There’s a line that our government should never cross. They shouldn’t be able to tell me what I believe or what I shouldn’t or what I can say or not. I do believe we need stronger borders. It’s not fair to the people who follow the rules and paths for citizenship in this country. There should be consequences for breaking the law and it should be enforced. If we didn’t have borders then there wouldn’t even be different countries. The U.S.A. Wouldn’t even exist if we didn’t have borders. I appreciate the fact that people think that this is such a wonderful place to live that they want to move here but there are rules. You have to have rules. You have to follow those rules if you want to live here. That’s just the way it is. If I wanted to go live in Canada then I’d have to follow their rules. Same here. If I entered Canada illegally then there would be consequences. That’s the way borders work. We can’t all just willy nelly switch countries. That would be mass chaos. So, yeah, strengthen our borders, agreed. I don’t believe in abortion, I believe in common sense. I believe that in certain situations that a woman should be able to have a legal abortion, like rape or incest or life threatening pregnancy. It’s not the popular view but it’s my view. I don’t think that abortion should be used as a form of birth control and some people use it as such. There are plenty of ways to not get pregnant so, use them. I believe that marijuana should be legalized in all states. Marijuana’s benefits far outweigh the risk. If marijuana was legal and regulated by the government, like alcohol and cigarettes then we could pay off the national debt in no time. Not even mentioning the economic boom and jobs it would create. Medically, marijuana would be an asset to the medical community and the patients. Do you know it is not possible for someone to overdose on marijuana? However, it is very possible for someone to overdose on oxycodone, hydrocodone, morphine, dilaudid, OxyContin, alcohol, cocaine, heroine, and even codeine. I think that legalizing marijuana would help a lot of people with drug dependencies, anxiety, depression, cancer, PTSD, chronic pain, nausea, migraines, arthritis and they can’t kill themselves by overdosing. Like I said the benefits far outweigh the risk. Alcohol is legal and causes far more problems than marijuana ever has. I believe that legal unions between same-sex couples are fine but if the word “marriage” offends some people then just don’t label it as such, as long as “civil union” has the same rights as marriage then I don’t care. I think there should be common law marriages for anybody that has lived in the same household that are not related to each other, legally or otherwise, after seven years. I mean, some people don’t even believe in marriage and it’s not fair that they can’t file taxes together or claim each other on their work insurance or benefits. I also think that if you have an elderly parent that you are taking care of, that you should be able to claim them as a dependent on your taxes. Even if they aren’t living under the same roof as you. I think the social security system needs an overhaul. People cannot live off social security and they, at a certain age, should be able to live comfortably. They’ve paid their dues in the workforce and deserve free healthcare and a decent check with an amount that is reasonable. No one can live off of a $700 check or less a month. Then have to pay for insurance out of that. I think we need a better healthcare system and Obamacare is not it. I don’t think in such a wealthy country that we should have anyone that is not covered by some sort of medical coverage. There are still people who do not have healthcare and do without medicine and medical care because they fall through the holes. I know this because not only do I see it all the time at work but my sister is one of them. In our country everyone should have healthcare, dental care and vision care, no exceptions. I volunteered at a clinic where this was the population that we saw. The people who, for one reason or another, could not afford healthcare and didn’t qualify for government help. It happens people, still. I believe in equal opportunity for all but I don’t believe that someone should get priority for getting a job because of the color of their skin, thier sex, their religious beliefs, their sexual orientation, physical disability, age or anything of this sort. You should hire the best candidate for the job, period. That’s why I refuse to answer those questions on a job application. I don’t think that there should EVER be anyone in this country that doesn’t have food, shelter, and clothing. We are far to great of a nation for this to even be possible. These are just a few of my particular brand of beliefs and so you can see why I have a hard time finding a political party that matches them. The only way I’d find a political party that believed the things I believe would be if I started my own. I also don’t believe that companies should get tax breaks for sending jobs over seas. We have plenty of people in this country that need jobs. If you want jobs to come here then give companies huge incentives to make products here in America. If everything we bought was made in America imagine the financial state we’d be in. I don’t think anyone should discriminate against any certain group of people and that includes Evangelical Christians. They have as much right to believe and speak about their beliefs as anyone else does. I think that if someone disagrees with something because it’s their beliefs, then they shouldn’t be made to do it. Like if you are a pastor and you don’t believe in marrying a couple because they are the same-sex then you shouldn’t have to. If your religious beliefs are against something then you shouldn’t be forced to praticipate. Like the cake shop that refused to make the wedding cake for a same-sex couple. That was their business and they should have that right. That would be like going into a Jewish owned establishment and forcing them to put their meat and eggs in the same place. It’s not Kosher, in more ways than one. So, just go somewhere else and do business. It’s a FREE country. That’s why we choose to live here. If a shop was owned by a same-sex couple and they didn’t believe in opposite-sex marriage and they refused to make a wedding cake for them then that would be alright too. You see we should all be able to have the right to stand for what we believe in. Freedom of religion, speech, and all of the constitution, applies to us all. I believe in the right to bear arms. I am an avid gun enthusiast and I have that right by the 2nd amendment. Do I think you should have to have an extensive background check to be able to buy guns? Yes, of course you should, but only criminals don’t follow these laws. Law abiding people are the ones who legally purchase firearms. Criminals will have guns no matter what, because they are Criminals! Wake up people! More gun laws are not going to change the way criminals obtain guns. More gun laws are just going to keep honest people from being able to protect themselves from those criminals. I like to think of it this way. My dad use to say that someone was a “hotel thief”. When I asked him what in the heck is a “hotel thief?” His response was, “They wouldn’t break in your house to steal from you, but if you give them a key they’ll rob you blind.” Good point. Honest people are, well, honest and dishonest people, well, you get the point. Another problem I have with gun control is Hitler, yes, Hitler, yes that one, I think there was only one? Thank God. Well, he was Pro- gun control too. I don’t make a point of quoting sadist but here is a quote from him, “This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!”- Adolph Hitler- 1935. Hmm? Right before he started rounding up the Jews, homosexuals and anyone who helped them into concentration camps. Probably helped that they couldn’t protect themselves, huh? Yeah, like I said.

Anyway, with all of that being said I think that Donald Trump has as much right to safely hold a political rally as anyone else does. Do I like him? No. Do I think he should be attacked and the people who have come to hear him be attacked? No. We all need to keep in mind that just because we don’t agree with someone’s opinion does not mean that they are “ignorent”, “uneducated”, “racist”, or “bigots”. We all have the right to voice our opinions. Whether right or wrong. Whether we agree or not. We still have that right. We have got to stand for something in this nation or we’re going to fall for anything. Stop being so “Politically Correct”. Honestly I think that the term “Politically Correct” is an oxymoron. What’s correct about politics? It’s the most incorrect thing in this country. Even though people say that anyone can someday grow up and become the president. It’s not true. You have to have money and a lot of it to run for any office, especially the presidential office. Do people really believe they are helping by protesting these rallies? Hell No! You’re just giving Donald Trump more attention and free air time. That’s all you’re doing. If you want him to win, then keep up the good work. If you’d rather not have a president Trump, then stop giving him what he wants. He wants you to get him on the news. He wants you to protest and give him fuel to stoke the fire even more. You’re playing into his game. And then the Liberials say that the Republicans are the uneducated people, well, I don’t know? Looks to me like you’re the ones getting played.

I’m sick of hearing about Donald Trump. I’m sick of politicians in general. They ALL lie! ALL of them no matter what party. My request to you all, is this. Vote for the person who best fits your personal beliefs. You have that right. I’m definitely not telling anyone who to vote for. It’s all of our rights to vote. That’s called a democracy. So, are you for Trump or not? If you are, vote for him. If you’re not, then don’t. But let him speak. That’s his right. Just like it’s my right to write this blog. Stop the madness. Educate yourself on the candidates and make your voice heard in November, at the polls and in the primaries, vote for your candidate or against another one. It’s still a free country. Let’s keep it that way.