It’s For Real

I don’t even know where to begin this blog. You all probably read my blog when I was complaining about dating sites, see There’s Free Milk Everywhere, Y’all! So, that post kind of makes me look like I was all judgemental about the whole thing, and I was, I admit. I have to begin to tell this story though because I hope it never ends.

You see, people wouldn’t guess this about me but, I’m a hopeless romantic. Yes, it’s true. I believe in ‘Happily Ever After’. I mean, why not, right? Better than not believing. Anyway, I come off as someone who could really give a fuck less about love. I guess I’m a closeted romantic? Maybe? I have always been the type that if you hurt me I could turn off my feelings as fast as they came on. I just never really felt any kind of instant connection with anyone. My first two and well, only two, serious relationships were a very slow, getting to know you process. Because, I’m just an old-fashioned southern girl who likes to be wooed. Don’t get me wrong though. I always thought it was possible to have that. I believe in soul mates and twin flames and love at first sight and all that jazz. I guess, I just hoped it would happen to me but never really expected it to happen to me.

As you all know. I was on a couple of dating sites. It wasn’t a very good experience. Either no one ever talked to you or you winked at someone and they winked at you and it was a big fucking joke! I had these, little girls(that qualifies as young enough to be my daughter)winking at me and chatting crap like, “What’s up?”. Give me a break! I’m like, old! Please, I don’t want to be arrested and labeled as a ‘sexual predator’. That would fucking ruin my career, right there! But I wasn’t interested in the first place. So it didn’t matter. I’m sure a lot of you have used these dating apps and you know that you flip through thousands of pictures. Most of them having ‘duck bill’ lips and throwing deuces. Don’t get me started on that. I mean, smile or look normal. Why you gotta do your lips like that? It’s not attractive, if that’s what you’re going for? Anyway, yeah, flip, flip, flip. Me: uh no, uh no, too young, too skinny, ah she’s cute but she smokes, uh no, no, hell no, maybe? Oh, she likes skinny girls? Well, I’m out, next. You see this wasn’t going well for me?

To my title, it’s for real, y’all! One night I was flipping through in my usual non interested way when, wait go back. Hmm? Well, she’s cute. Probably something wrong with her? Let’s read the profile. She probably smokes or is looking for Mrs. Athletic body? Ok, uh huh, uh huh, oh she doesn’t smoke, drinks socially, so do I sometimes too much socially but socially. Maybe this could work? She’s cute enough. She wears glasses, which is totally hot. She probably won’t like me? I doubt she will but hey, let’s give it a shot. That was my thinking process. Well, holy shit, she actually liked me. And she’s not young enough to be my daughter. She’s younger than me but not, illegally so. We started chatting back and forth and hit it off. I was actually in complete shock. Then I got brave and gave her my number. That was a huge step for me because I don’t trust anyone. But for some strange reason, I trusted her.

I can’t say that we have everything in common. Because we don’t. I’m from the South and she’s a Yankee. That’s what we call you Northerners, by the way. We have a lot in common. I am a big ‘ol dyke, y’all. I’m not very feminine but I’m not overly masculine. I consider myself slightly left of center. Butch and feminine, a little of both, but more Butch. I am usually attracted to very feminine women. I’m not saying this girl isn’t feminine at all, but very feminine? No. She’s tough and pretty badass. She’s got piercings and tattoos. She had Laser eye surgery done. There went the glasses. I might have to buy her some fake ones just for me? But y’all she’s hot! Glasses or not. She doesn’t like Prince. Who doesn’t like Prince? I fucking love Prince! That could have been a total deal breaker! But then she had guts enough to tell me so, wasn’t that really a good thing? She overlooks a lot of my faults. Not that I have any. I’ve got plenty! I couldn’t figure out what it was about her that drew me like a magnet. It’s not all about looks or a hot body to me. Not saying she’s not hot but it’s a brain thing with me. You got to have a brain! Dumbness is a complete turnoff. Then she told me the same thing. I know it wasn’t that she was just saying it because it was what I wanted to hear. Because that’s not her speed. I mean, she told me she didn’t like Prince! Why would she say anything just because, now? We both have talked about how scared we were. How neither of us are normally like this. How people will have their opinions about our relationship. But, we’re cool with that. It’s just something neither of us can explain. It just is there between us. Something special. A drawing. Magnets. Maybe I’m going to sound like a dating site commercial here but we just clicked.

She probably thought I talked too much? Which I do sometimes. She was shy and that was wonderfully cute. She was modest and that’s fantastic. We talked and talked. She didn’t agree with everything I said so that let me know she had her own mind. That was also good. I don’t want a ‘yes, dear.’ relationship. I want somebody who doesn’t mind listening to my opinions but doesn’t mind giving me theirs. She fit the bill. So, she’s the total package. Is that even possible? Well, it is. It’s for real, y’all. She is the most caring, loving, giving, sexy, smart, tough, badass, sweet woman I think I’ve ever met? She makes me smile. Like a fool, y’all! Like a complete fool! I really honestly believe that I’ve never fallen so hard, so fast? Well, I know I haven’t. And yes I know you’re thinking there has to be something wrong with her. She works, y’all! And I haven’t found anything, yet. If I do though, I think it can be worked around. I have not been in a relationship in 11 years. That’s a long time. I was afraid that, just like in the past, that something always took precedence over me. And I would be hurt, again. Both of my exes left me because they ‘weren’t right with God’. I tried that road many times. But it’s not who I really am. I’ve always known that I liked women. Since I was 4 years old. I really don’t think anything will change me now. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Don’t I deserve to be loved, too? Don’t we all deserve to be loved? I think we do.

No one has ever changed my opinion or how I felt about certain things. I am strongly opinionated and bull-headed. I know, I am outspoken and can be really honest to a fault. This woman has made me change my mind about some things I felt really strongly about. Everyone who reads my blog or is a friend of mine knows how I feel about PDA, public displays of affection. Yeah, never really been a fan. I know that no one has ever changed my mind about this, ever! But she has. Not because we’ve done it, yet but because for the first time in my life. I want to do it! I can’t believe I said that. I know, you’re thinking I’ve got it bad. I do.

I’m off the dating sites. All two of them I was on. I deleted my account and am not on the market anymore. Only time will tell but I think I may have found the one. We are constantly texting or talking. I can’t think about anything but her. We made it exclusive. We are only dating one another. I think that I am more happy now than I’ve ever been in my 44 years. Wish us luck, y’all! But I think we aren’t really going to need it. Because we have something more powerful than luck on our side. We have love. And that Beatles song can’t be wrong, can it? Love is truly all you need.

 

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8 thoughts on “It’s For Real

  1. What an awesome feeling when you meet someone you truly connect with! It sounds very promising…I like how you described what you’re both like and the things about her that attract you. My fingers are crossed but it sounds like you’ve found the real deal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your kind words. I’ve never met anyone like her before. I’ll be davastated if it doesn’t work. She’s the best person I’ve ever known. She is truly one in a million. I am one lucky, head over hills in love woman. That’s for sure.

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  2. so I think I skipped a gazillion of posts because none come to my email!!! please don’t think I moved on, I haven’t… Just a couple of days I found out about this “wordpress reader” I was supposed to know about and saw EVERYBODY that I thought I follow but haven’t seen in my inbox… I gotta catch up! you might get more comments than needed lol

    I read this post in what felt like one breath! I couldn’t wait to find out about the end, but didn’t want to miss any detail!! I am soo happy for you and I won’t wish you luck, but lots of love 🙂

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    1. I don’t know how to go about fixing this problem? Halfa1000miles told me the same exact thing. I wish I knew how to fix it. That’s ok though that you leave comments now. I am going to investigate this. Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It’s been a long long time since I’ve felt this way but the other times don’t even compare to this. I really have never felt this way. She is so sweet. She tells me how sexy I am. She tells me how smart I am. She tells me how much she loves me. She’s so different than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope she never leaves me. Anyway she makes me feel special and wanted, and that’s a big deal. I only hope I make her feel the same way. Thanks for wishing us love. Comment on! I enjoy reading them.

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  3. Oh my god Karen, I was reading this post grinning like a goon with tears in my eyes and laughing whenever you’d say shit like ‘there’s gotta be something wrong with her’ and calling yourself a fool… I’m so happy for you both! *sigh* … yes I’m a hopeless romantic too. It’s funny; I’d never met anyone who I felt a real connection with (well, they were nice and all but I could take or leave them. And usually left them) until I met J. And we met online too! So it can happen, and when it does it’s incredible, just finally getting what all the fuss is about, knowing that all this time you were capable of feeling like that but it was just that the right person hadn’t come along yet.
    I wish you both every happiness and look forward to hearing about your adventures 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Michelle. It always makes me feel good when my post touch someone else. I always write from the heart, whether good or bad and knowing that someone else gets it is a fantastic feeling. I’m glad you found the one who does this to you and makes you realize that everything before them was a complete waste of time. I read this to Steph, your comment and of course she was like, “Awww, babe, that was so sweet.” And I’m like, “Yes, it was baby. Yes, it was”. So, thanks for liking this one and I got a feeling that my muse is going to be bringing a lot more like this out of me. So, stay tuned.

      Liked by 1 person

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